Some of it works, some of it does not. I still think it was worth persevering with, even if the outcome is less than I’d hoped for. I still like the contrast of the cinematic opening and the cheesy pop tune.
Luomo – Tessio (Lvcchesi’s Fever Dream Remix)
No idea is original, we stand on the shoulder of giants and we steal and plunder from those before us.
This was going to be longer, but I’m out of time – I gotta rush.
I found the samples from the original Tessio, you know the one with the huge intro? Rather than just point you to where they came from I thought I would piss everyone off my loading them up in the MPC and making a house mashup like it’s still 1999. Then I discovered that I really liked it, so I’m going to do something else with it. It’s like a fever dream of the original.
It’s rough as a badger’s arse at the moment, but I thought it would be cool to hear what I was working with. I’ll have a much more polished version soon, but not till after Xmas.
Have a listen to the demo/proof of concept.
I am pleased to say that the Lucchesi Burro EP is now available for preorder at various online record stores. I hasten to add that it will also be available at multiple brick and mortar stores – if you’re fortunate enough to still have one near you.
The official blurb: “The second release for Glasgow label Full Dose features two dancehall laced productions from Ayrshire via Kingston by Lucchesi. The Lucchesi Burro EP is uncompromising in approach & heavyweight in sound, reminiscent of The Bug on Rephlex, circa 2003. Vinyl only. Single sided 12” with insert.”
From the horse’s mouth: “Chopped the vocal from an old Dancehall LP I bought this week, sounds a lot like Burro Banton to me but I’m not 100% on that. Burro Banton is the fucking man, so I’ve got no issue crediting him with it regardless of his involvement.
Everything was sequenced on an old, tired MPC4000. Drums are Vermona DRM MK1 through a Voodoo Octave guitar pedal. Percussion is a Roland M-DC 1 processed through a JomoX T-Resonator II and couple of other guitar pedals. Synth pad is the Waldorf MicroWave XT with a Boss RV-1000 on top. Outro synth was Novation Super BassStation and a T.C. Electronics Fireworx. Master channel; Art Pro VLA II compressor and an old Akai PEQ. All recorded to tape for the dancehall feel (and hiss, mainly).”
Lucchesi “Burro EP” Vinyl
Preorder Links for limited edition Lucchesi Burro EP: Bleep Juno RedEye YouTube Promo Discogs
Made for Halloween, 2017. Long, sprawling ambient thing. Creep-step.
Tony Bernardo “Take It All”
Here’s this shit piece of music I put together this weekend.
Tony Bernardo “DDDDBBB”
Hey you! Do you want to read an uneducated opinion on a throwaway piece of music? Do you want to read a shoddily written article riddled with grammar and spelling* mistakes? Of course you do! Here it is.
So there I was listening the radio as I drove back from the airport (a regional programme, of course!) when I heard this funky little tune. It’s nothing more than a soul loop and some drums, but it had a cool vibe. I thought “hey, Imma get me summa dat sheeeit”. So I did, and here we are.
The record in question (lol) is “Question” buy KH, or Kieran Hebden, were more acquainted. So I got it home, slapped it on the turntable and enjoyed it a little bit. A little bit less than I was expecting to unfortunately.
KH “Question” cover.
You see, every time I listen to it I get a bit of a sinking feeling. A hollow feeling right in the pit of my stomach. A little voice in my head whispers “this isn’t good, mate” and “what’s this fucking shite, mate”. My inner monologue has a heavy Scottish accent, and as such is quite succinct and to the point. There’s just no messing with that cunt.
You see, for as much as I like “Question” by KH, I know it’s not a good record. In actual fact, it’s exactly the type of record I fucking hate. It takes a lovely, interesting loop from an old house track and puts some heavier drums underneath it (see: “Final Credits” by Midland). That’s it. Really, its about ten minute work and is woefully uninspired.
KH didn’t write that cool little bassline, he didn’t write the vocals. He didn’t play those drums or orchestrate anything. He didn’t sing. KH was listening to some records, liked and section from one very much and said “Hey, I’ll put my name on that”. And that’s as far as it went.
Then it was played on the radio and a load of fucking IDIOTS (myself included) ran out and bought it. There was no thought process from the artist or the public. The exchanged when as so:
KH: Here’s this shit piece of music I put together this weekend.
Me: Fuck me, I’ll buy that!
Worse still, there’s a bunch of fucking weasel-fucks trying to flip it on Discogs.com for silly amounts of money. THE RECORD IS STILL IN SHOPS AND IS NOT FROM A LIMITED RUN. And even if it was, it’s fucking bullshit boring house music.
I am annoyed. This is killing my vibe.
So what am I going to do? I don’t know. I’ve depressed myself for the first time in a while here. I am genuinely disappointed that I was duped into buying such a thing when I’d be better off listening to the original sampled records. I mean, fuck, the new drums aren’t even interesting…
Well, in order to stop people paying inordinate amount of money for this below average record, here’s a copy. Listen with disappointment all of you fuckranauts…
All spelling mistakes and grammatical errors are intentional and for the sake of satire. Remember when we could just tell a joke because it was funny? Well now that’s ‘satire’.
I’ve not posted a review for a while – and long may that trend continue. However I was listening to some records tonight, and I remembered how much I liked this old house tune.
I don’t know too much about Mr. Josh Brent, other than he know calls himself Schatrax and releases cool house music.
Listen to these cool old tunes.
Josh Brent “As Long As I’ve Got You”
It’s electronic music with no compression. You heard me, zero compression.
Sitting down for the first leg of a twenty-five hour journey sucks. Mentally it’s difficult for me to know I’m stuck in a smelly flying tube for that length of time. As you can likely tell from previous interactions, I’m not much of a people person. I don’t strike up conversations on flights, nor do I enjoy being shoulder to shoulder with strangers for that length of time (or indeed any length of time).
I choose escapism – I have a phone filled with podcasts and music, and a painfully expensive pair of headphones that allow me to ignore the roar of a jet engine for as long as possible. And wine, plenty of it.
Imagine my fucking delight as I pull out my immaculate, rarely used, never out of the bastard box Bose QC25 to find out that one of the cups is no longer working.
I didn’t panic. I checked that the wiring was ok at both ends. No change. I changed the battery. Nothing. I searched some of my phones settings to make sure I hadn’t ballsed anything up. They were just fucked.
It turns out that there is an inherent manufacturing fault with the first generation of Bose QC2s, which means that sooner or later the right ear cup just dies. You better hope that it does so in the warranty period or Bose put their dirty (German?) cock right in your ass.
My shitty fucking Bose QuietComfort 25. Right ear broken
I’ve shot Bose a succinctly worded email explaining my displeasure at the situation. I’m expecting nothing back, although I will update if they do respond positively. I’d be less upset if I found out before I stepped foot on the plane, or if I hadn’t treated them with fucking kid gloves all the time. Or if they hadn’t cost near £300.
Bollocks.
I’m stationed in a third world country for the next few days, but I did notice a Bose Service Center as I was chauffeured around. I might go in there and cause some white man drama. Sons of bitches.
I’ve churned these things out recently, almost as if I employ not type of quality control what so ever. Really, this was just a test bed for trying to improve my percussion writing skill, which are horribly lacking. It’s not bad, I think I managed to get a bit of groove out of the old Vermona. Quite a cool bassline, I do like that.
“U. Vibe” from U. Vibe by Tony Bernardo. Released: 2017. Track 1 of 1. Genre: House.
This is some mad shit right here. I told you I’d run from those triad chord progressions. I’m so much happier making this sort of thing than continually trying to shoehorn beats into productions all the time – it’s really not my thing it turns out.
Sprawling, decayed, rumbling mess, almost resembling music. This is my shit.
Technical details: Vermona DRM1 MK III, Waldorf MicroWave XT, Yamaha X81Z w/ Stereoping Controller, modded Kawai K4R, Novation SuperBassStation, Ibanez Harmonizer, a load of old guitar pedals, and a home-made reverb which sounds more like a delay. Oh, and an old tube compressor, you know, for the ‘vibe’.
“Explorer” from Explorer by Tony Bernardo. Released: 2017. Track 1 of 1. Genre: Experimental.